i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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