Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just had sex bonerless
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
