Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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