kristin has been a bad kristin
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
