Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
