He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
