i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
