She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
