nut hugger
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
