I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
