alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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