I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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