apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
