to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
