im about as happy as oj after his trial
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
