Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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