dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
