Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
No subtext here. People are naked.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
