I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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