So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
