a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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