Your tits are I can't wait for
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
