she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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