I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
