you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
