So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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