Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize