At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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