Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
