Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
