so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
