yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
