Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
