You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
