Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just want nice things and good sex
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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