Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
