i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
