idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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