What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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