I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
