You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
