Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
