You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
