P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
