I faked an abortion last night.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
whose ass print is on the piano?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
