She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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