turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
