I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
