And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
