I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
