You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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