After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
