You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize