and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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