you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
