So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
