I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
