Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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