TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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