Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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