it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
