I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
