that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
